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David, Sylvia & Toxic Triangulation

Updated: May 28


The goal of a successful relay team is to coordinate a group of fast runners, each one running a leg of the race and passing the baton to the next runner. Trust between team members matters supremely. Each teammate maneuvers to put the next team member in a better position to win.

Without trust, relay teams and businesses fail.

David and Sylvia often find themselves in the middle of a toxic triangle in the family business. This happens when each of them speaks privately to their dad about the other. Their father tries to mediate, but the result is toxic.

David and Sylvia should be speaking to each other, but their attempts to connect are futile. By talking to their dad privately, they think they are communicating. Tension runs high, and when their spouses become involved, the dam breaks. The business and their family relationships are at risk.

Only when David and Sylvia get in a room with a trained mediator does trust begin to build between them. In only one session, they realize their body language is saying one thing, but they are thinking another. When one of them speaks, the other nods affirmingly. The person nodding their head is thinking, yes: I hear you. The person witnessing the nod assumes they agree with them. Not necessarily true.

It is a recipe for pain and dysfunction.

Things change when David and Sylvia take steps to find a trusted advisor. The advisor says some hard things that are very hard to hear. Ultimately, they cannot both have the final say. A choice has to be made, and they have to make it.

Because David and Sylvia both trust the advisor implicitly, they hear what they need to hear and mutually agree to a decision.

Catastrophe is averted.

Building trust among team members often only happens with the help of trusted advisors. Businesses that invest in these trusted relationships ensure their longevity.

Trusted advisors can include CPAs, attorneys, bankers, family friends, and board members.

These relationships often flow from trusting relationships at the top of a team. Trust flows from the top to the bottom in organizations. Suspicious and untrusting relationships at the top of a company are toxic for everyone.

Having trusted advisors that everyone on the leadership teams trust ensures that the company can continue to make a profit, bless the community and advance its purpose.

How are the relationships at the head of your company? Trusting? Suspicious? Competitive? They matter supremely. To help facilitate needed conversations about succession planning at your business, I have created an asset for you. It is free, my gift to you. Get 14 Questions To Fuel Succession Planning today.

Harry T. Jones P.S. Use my free asset, 14 Questions To Fuel Succession Planning today and get the succession planning ball rolling! CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD. P.S.S. Email me harryt@cultivatingimpact.biz and let me know how the conversations are going. I want to help!

*Like all my stories, David and Sylvia’s story is real; names and some particulars are changed to protect the individuals involved.

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