The day I had to fire a VP who sat next to me at church 😥

When you tolerate incompetent people, your competent people will leave. For the health of your team you must act.

Welcome to the 5th installment of my “Elephants in the Room” series, where we tackle those uncomfortable business truths nobody wants to discuss.

Today’s elephant? The incompetent team member who’s dragging everyone down.

Confession: This story still makes me uncomfortable to think about. Talking about it is beyond uncomfortable.

A few years back, I inherited a vice president who had been with the company for 30 YEARS.

This wasn’t just any colleague — his family lived blocks from mine, and we sat in the same pews at church every Sunday.

Talk about awkward.

Here’s the thing: Despite my best efforts, I couldn’t get his attention. He was completely stuck in his ways.

He had his buddies and his attitude was driving his incompetence.

I tried everything. Multiple conversations. Clear expectations. Support. Unplanned “day off” to shock.

Nothing worked.

And finally, we had to make one of the hardest decisions of my career — we had to retire him early.

This experience taught me something profound that I now see EVERYWHERE in business.

10s will not stay in a room continually with 3s.

Not in business. Not on teams. Not in any relationship.

It’s that simple.

When you tolerate incompetent people, your competent people will leave. ✋

I call this “The Silent Exodus,” and it’s killing businesses everywhere.

I saw this play out with my client Henry (name changed to protect the guilty 😉).

Henry runs a century-old business generating over $100 million in revenue with 179 employees.

He came to me FOUR TIMES in four years with the same problem.Henry wouldn’t let go of control.

He made EVERY decision from strategic direction to daily operations.

The result?

His competent child left the business while his less capable child stayed.

Now Henry is heading into liquidation, and those 179+ jobs will likely disappear forever.

What a preventable tragedy.

Brain Candy for Leadership Growth 🍭

So how do you prevent this talent exodus in your own business?

1. Create consistent accountability systems for EVERYONE (family or not)

2. Check alignment with core values (Ask: Do they fit? Are they coachable?)

3. Assess role fit (Are they playing the role they are best at?)

4. Empower your best people (Remember: Good people want to be decision-makers!)

5. Don’t tolerate incompetence — regardless of tenure or relationship

The warning signs are usually there before the exodus begins.

When your best people — those who once brought innovative ideas and stayed late brainstorming solutions — grow quiet, they’ve already mentally checked out. (READ MORE HERE)

That silence? It’s not golden. It’s a warning that there is an elephant in the room…

What elephant might be wreaking havoc in your organization right now?

I’d love to know — hit reply and tell me if you’ve ever had to make a tough call like I did with my VP, or if you’re seeing warning signs in your business right now.